Features Contributor • Writing Fellow • Senior Contributing Writer
The Onion — America’s Finest News Source — is among the most prestigious, storied, and acclaimed satire publications in American history. Since 2016, I’ve written for The Onion in various capacities; first as a Features Contributor (writing fake quotes for their famous ‘American Voices’ series), then later joining the staff in Chicago in 2019 as a part of their highly coveted Writing Fellowship program. Out of over 1,000 applicants, I was one of two writers selected for their 2019 Fellow class — here’s the joke packet that won me my spot in the program. As a Writing Fellow, I took on all duties of an Onion staff writer: writing thousands of headlines and one-liner jokes, (both evergreen and time-sensitive), pitching jokes and ideas in the writer’s room, and writing article drafts.
After my Writing Fellowship ended, I’ve continued to contribute original headlines and material to The Onion as a freelance Senior Contributing Writer — work I continue to this day. In addition to writing headlines and features, I’ve also contributed written material to The Onion’s 2017 print volume ‘The Trump Leaks.’
I’ve also been asked to submit written material to The Onion’s sister publication Clickhole, and you can find a packet of those headlines here. Below is a curated, though by no means exhaustive, collection of some of my favorite articles I’ve written for The Onion. For a full list of every published Onion headline I’ve written, please click here.
